Thursday, July 31, 2003
KEN IS STILL A CACAPOOPOO!
i think this is something my brother would do
one time my brother (if you want a mental picture, think "lead singer of cake") was in hot topic to buy a pair of docs. the kids working there were obviously talking smack about one of their coworkers (who must have had off that day). they were being really nasty, and apparently too involved with their talking to notice my brother at the counter right away. but they did eventually. they rung him up while continuing to talk smack. so after he paid, my brother said "that's my sister you're talking about!," grabbed his purchase, and stomped off.
it wasn't though.
so this has happened a couple times at curves. i'm stretching, and a person is getting measured and weighed and obviously feeling very vulnerable--you know, saying self-deprecating things. a few times, someone has made a comment about how i don't need to be there (i'm underweight, although you'd never know if you looked at my beh-leh!). so today, a woman was getting measure and talking about how she does curves and walks an hour a few times a week, but still no results. she points at me and goes "i want to know what SHE'S doing"
i really don't want this woman to feel bad about herself. she looked just fine. so i said "oh me? i have an eating disorder."
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
more puppylove
how could i forget this? we were just sitting there on a bench, talking smack about our friend's (KENNY B--YOU NON-BLOG-READIN' POOPY!!!) strange former tastes in music, and there was this guy on the bench next to us with a dog, reading. (he was reading...not the dog).
KEN I'M GOING TO DO THIS TO YOU EVERYDAY JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN TELL BIBLE STORIES WITH CHEESE, IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M INCONSEQUENTIAL TO YOU, MISTER "LISTEN TO YOUR HEART" BY ROXETTE!
i'm not sure what kind of dog it was. it seemed like a small pitbull. it was very muscular, and had very sleek fur that was unevenly colored. anyway, i asked the guy if i could pet his doggie, and he said yes. so i went and sat by him, and the doggie loved me back!!! he licked my face, and put his paws up on my legs, and kissed me some more...and sean said that whenever i stopped petting him, he looked up at me like "hey!" i would totally love to be, like, dr. doolittle. anyway, it made me happy. not as happy as more time with bobo and salma--but happy.
bobo and salma: i miss you terribly. (mom--please pass that message on for me).
oh yeah, i miss you too mom and dad. hee hee. : )
will trade olive loaf and swiss on rye
yesterday, i went into work with sean, and transcribed the craig thompson interview. okay, i added a couple editorial remarks in as well, but don't tell my husband:
"amanda seems like my kinda gal. so does her wombat. hot, too. i mean, amanda is hot..."
good times. then we went for a late lunch with k at peanut butter & company. the funny thing is, i just happened to be wearing my "WANTED: PB&J SANDWICH" tank top. if you want to know how i blew probably 800 calories on one sammidge, here's what i got: cinnamon raisin peanut butter, vanilla cream cheese, and green apple slices on whole wheat.
then the three of us went wandering, and ended up at the dog run at tompkins square park. this one bulldog was totally getting his butt handed to him, and the weird thing was that this other dog , who was showing him who was boss, mounted him and was humping him but face to face. i thought that was odd. and this girl was just standing around, smoking, watching all this...and i think one of those dogs was hers. i was about to go in there and break it up myself and pet the cute bulldog poor thing.
and then we were just talking and feeling old. we were observing the hipsters laying on the grass and shouting "l'chiam" loudly, wondering if they were being joyful or anti-semitic, but it made us uncomfortable. and sean and k caught themselves saying they couldn't be bothered to be hipsters because they don't like looking dirty. you know? spend $50 on a t shirt at filth mart and try your best to look dirty, because i don't believe they can't afford show-shows because they spent $50 on a t shirt. but after a while the conversation just made us feel really, really old...we found ourselves saying things about just having different priorities now...
you know, tompkins square park is kinda gross. sketchy. a lot of weirdos. upon walking into it, i remarked: "this is, like, the kinda place someone goes to get their head together when they're in withdrawal."
Monday, July 28, 2003
to shop the impossible dream
maybe i SHOULD make my kitschy "thing" be owning something from every loehmanns in the country. i could even get specific--underwear from every one. or a tank top. anything but shoes--i've never had any luck there with that. i've been to 2 of the 3 on long island, i drive right by the brooklyn one every week, and of course the city isn't all THAT far. i just brought back some goodies from loehmanns in colorado.
my sister said i shold scrapbook this. c'mon...that would be awesome.
this all adds up to a very good reason to go to chicago. there are two within 15 miles (morton grove and oak brook). ho! credit card: better pack a sports bra and supportive sneakers, 'cause you'll be gettin' a workout at wizard world!
oh loehmanns. sweet home away from home, how i love thee.
i know--if i had any life at all, i wouldn't have even does this much investigating. but it's keeping my mind off of missing bobo and salma.
Sunday, July 27, 2003
it's a marvelous time for a mullet
i'm back from colorado...and badder than ever. no yakkiness on the flights, hooray. on the first (denver-dallas), i was sitting next to this 13 year old boy who was unhappy to be the one person in his 5-person family that had to "go sit up there with the lady." i tried to be nice to him, said he could have window or aisle, but he just wasn't hearin' it. whaddayagon' do? i tried.
anyhoo...on the way home from our sunday-evening-grocery-shopping trip, sean and i started talking mullets. he was talking about this "sexy meximullet" he saw the other day...instead of the sides being fully shaved, it was just like two small squares. weird.
i came up with a cute name for this particular mullet: montezuma's HAIRDRESSER's revenge.
i'll have a more substantial post later...as soon as i come up with something mildly interesting to say...
Saturday, July 26, 2003
little ferg
i was snooping through my mom's scrapbooking stuff, and i guess i found the stuff that didn't make the cut. i made two very interesting discoveries:
(1) i was not, in fact, an ugly child. not even medium. i really did have a pretty face. i can't believe this. why did the neighborhood kids never let me be princess leia? i'll never understand that. heather, who always got to be her (i was a stormtrooper), was actually kinda funny looking. the kids in my grandmother's neighborhood in west virginia always did, but it's not because they had better taste--i was the only girl.
(2) some poems that i wrote when i was but a child. i think i had something published in some book in the fourth grade...i remember the principal coming up to me...it was something like "in a dream i saw the spirit of my hamster" or something like that. i wonder if i have a copy somewhere. anyway, these were all (apparently) from the third grade. enjoy the pre-bipolar ferg, if you will:
"what sparks my imagination" by amy ferguson, grade 3
once i looked upon a cloud,
i called it santa claus.
it had a beard and nose,
a hat and eyes, too,
so i decided to behave.
another time,
another cloud.
i looked up and saw
a ray that lead to heaven.
i knew that He was watching me,
so i was very proud.
another time and cloud,
i looked up and saw
a zoo of lions, turtles,
a zoo of peacocks, too.
but, to tell you the truth of all,
it was a zoo of imagination.
"time" by amy ferguson, 1985 (i guess i was 8 or 9)
people say that time flies
i don't quite think that's wise.
you should not take time for granted.
after all, its no shape or form or slanted.
without time, what would you do?
think about it, will you?
"mouse" (1985)
i scurry around
looking for food
yes,
i'm such a little mouse
and when a cat comes along
i scurry back inside
my little house.
"from liberty's view" (1985)
everybody from another country,
i welcome you
to each of our states
old and new.
my torch is lit,
my crown stands high,
to welcome people to freedom
who have said to their other country "goodbye."
i was a gift of friendship,
an everlasting friendship,
as strong as a ship
that could never tip.
and god bless this country
full of love,
giving everyone your blessing
from far above.
and may those countries
who wish for freedom
be granted their wish
and liberty for all...
"balloon" (1985)
you may wish that you were free
like a balloon
after all, what goes up
must come down.
but balloons aren't so lucky
after all.
when they are free in the air
they are fine.
but when they get too high
in the sky
they must pop and, plop
land.
it's mine...mineallmine...
there are certain things that are just guaranteed, 100%, to make me smiley-happy. i'll just name a few for starters:
my dogs
farts
when someone does that dance that no one can actually do...you grab your ankle and sorta jerk your leg back and forth
and..."been caught stealin" by janes addiction. specifically, the dogs barking in the beginning. if that doesn't make you happy, then there's something wrong with you, because i'm not even a happy person and it never fails to brighten my day. no wait--there's something wrong with me and it still works. if it doesn't make you happy, then i can't help you. that's a better, less judgmental, way to put it.
i had a fairly nice dream last night that mixed up all sorts of people from all parts of my life. that never happens in real life.
Friday, July 25, 2003
day nine of project puppylove
and i still haven't been to loehmanns out here. why do you think this is? i'll make this a multiple choice question:
(a) my husband cut up my credit cards before i left
(b) i've suddenly come down with a bad case of agoraphobia
(c) fun clothes for cheap really doesn't do it for me these days
(d) i don't enjoy stripping down in the one-room dressing rooms as much as i used to
(e) i just really love my doggies that much...i don't want to leave them
did you have time? okay, here are the choices and why they are correct/incorrect:
(a) no way, dude. he doesn't like spending time in the hospital any more than you do
(b) i'm lazy and depressed, but i would never avoid "the market place" unless i had a good reason.
(c) yeah. i really like dressing like a teacher 10 months of the year
(d) no way, baby...that's the best part!
well, okay. i know this one isn't nearly as big as the one back in ny, and i'm driving us into debt lately. if i'm going to drain our bank accounts, i might as well not do it on doggie-time.
i have a question for my audience. if you are a night-showerer (and, therefore, are going to bed clean), how many days can you wear pajamas without being gross? i'm not asking this because i've been wearing the same pajamas i wore when i was out here last (and didn't wash them) since i got here...no...ahem. seriously, e-mail me (oof23 at hotmail dot com) and let me know if i'm gross or not. and while you're at it, i'd like to know what is the longest you've gone without showering. i'm going to start off and say i think it was probably 5 days for me, when i had mono. but i can go ages without washing my hair. i have a problem with forgetting when i last washed it. i remember today, and it's hairwashing day, but i really really just want to take a bubble bath.
before you go judging me, i want you to remember that i'm really really hot. no i'm just kidding. my hygiene is decent, honest. my husband says that he has never smelled me stink (except for my feet, on occasion, but i'm really putting them up his nose) or have bad breath. so i'm just naturally sweet. smelling.
i am an opera singer
i stand on painted tape
it tells me where i'm going
and where to throw my cape
"opera singer," cake
MAN was i a grumpus today. i started crying on the phone with my husband because some jagass nyc hipster types didn't like my posts on their idiotic message board.
here's a post that meets their exacting standards for coolness:
blah blah blah OBSCURE BAND blah blah blah DESCRIPTION OF THE SHOW blah blah blah NAMEDROP
seriously. these kids that were probably picked on in high school have now turned on and are bullying those of us who sorta fell through the social cracks and are not as cool as they are today.
what a bunch of snotboogies. i'm so much more mature than them.
here's a good story:
as you may know, i'm a music teacher. last year, i switched from an all-girl's catholic high school (where i was friends with my students) to a public middle school (where i am fascinated and mystified by my students' behavior). okay, so it was mid-december, before my first concert with them. i had gotten all 150 in the 7th and 9th grade chorus together in the gym to rehearse. i was so nervous. i was so freaking out about this concert. and remember, the kids and i hardly knew each other at this point.
so we had to move the volleyball nets out of the way to rehearse, and we did push them aside. so i'm walking over to the tenors to give them the don't-mess-with-me-i-see-you-foolin'-around look, because they're such naughty mischievous boys. i step on the net, my foot slips, and i totally totally wipe out in front of them.
i couldn't believe it. they didn't immediately crack up. you could hear a pin drop, and you could feel them
wanting to laugh, but either afraid or just too shocked. they actually waited for me to laugh to start laughing.
what unbelievably awesome kids. i mean, seriously. think about what it was like when you were in seventh grade. would you have held back? i would have laughed my BEE-hind off, and i was a good kid.
there was another time that i was crying because a parent had torn me a new one on the phone, and i tried to collect myself before i went to teach a lesson (7th grade tenors), but it was obvious i had been crying. the boys didn't say anything, but they kept looking at me, and they just magically behaved and sung better than usual. what little cutie-pies they are, when they're not bullying each other.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
i feel like love is in the kitchen with a culinary eye
i think he's making something special
and I'm smart enough to try
"obstacle 2," interpol
my sister and i went to whole foods today before what was supPOSED to be dinnertime. we were looking for something to pick up for dinner, but we basically ended up getting a meal there. here are the samples of which i partook tonight:
potato chips
chips and salsa
veggie chips
chocolate and vanilla cookies
honey wheat bread
raspberrie scones
raisin scones
pirate's booty-type stuff
chocolate cookies (we went back there three times)
havarti cheese
and we didn't even eat all the samples. they also had zucchini and squash with dip, tuna salad, some other cheese, cereal, and some other bread thing.
OINK OINK OINK OINK
the salsa was coming back to haunt me...nastyorama. i came back and weighed 93 pounds NOT FOR LONG.
so, folks, forget going to 7-11 for your snackage. hit your local whole foods. god i love that place. the one out here is better than the one on long island because there are more samples, more cooking stuff, and less crowding.
someone should e-mail me right now. i feel a little lonesome. actually, it's amazing how un-lonesome i feel with my dogs around. it's like i have two people staying with me. two extremely snuggly people who are comfortable making doodies in front of me. i was a little freaked out at 11:30 last night because of a weird phone call, and then i remembered i have my tough puppies with me. then i could sleep.
so maybe it's not lonesome. just bored.
tonight interpol (LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM ABSORB THEM) is on jimmy kimmel. here's my problem. i hate jimmy kimmel, and i wasn't planning on staying up that late. but i love interpol. discuss.
sean and i are trying to figure out how to go to wizard world chicago. i want a roadtrip: fun! snacks! baths!!! we're trying to figure it out before our financial caca hits the fan. wish us luck. neither of us are star trek fans, and he just got back san diego comicon. that might actually make it more fun--he sorta "did" all the "things" he wanted to "do."
why that called for so many quotes i don't know. i guess that means it didn't call for so many quotes.
write me write me write me love love love....
you SO wish you were me right now
first, i took the dogs for a 20-minute walk. i didn't want to go too long, because it was still pretty warm, salma is a little on the chunky-panting side, and bobo is 12 years old. a good time was had by all, canine and homo sapien. then i dropped them off, grabbed my ipod, and went exploring. i was planning on walking/jogging for about 40-45 minutes, but i was also determined to find that path that goes so you can climb the hills and see very far away.
i tried one way, but i was dead-ended by a "no trespassing" sign. so i came back, trying to find that path that sean and i found once. i kept walking uphill, and finally realized i was out of luck. so i just walked through the tall grassy stuff and decided i'd find it eventually.
you have to be careful, though, because of the rattlesnakes, so i turned down "scarlet's walk" and kept my ears open. i got all these sticky-pricky things all over my sock...when i finally found my way to the path (after much wading through tall stuff, and sneaking under and back under someone's fence), i had to spend a good 5 minutes pulling them out of my pants and socks. and then...
i was all over the place, it was delightful. i can't believe that you can see the horizon (or, at least, mountains) and all 360 degrees around. i don't think i'll ever stop being in awe of that. it's beautiful. anyway, i ended up getting sorta lost...i thought i was on my way home, but the mountains seemed to be on the wrong side of me. but i have a decent sense of direction, and the road gradually turned in a way that corrected it.
i had been planning to sit out on the deck and watch the sunset and write, but i pretty much caught that on my way home. so THEN...
you are SO JEALOUS of me right now...
i filled up my parent's tub, dropped in a bath ice cream, and got my bath on, with the two cutest dogs ever laying on the carpet by the tub. i was drinking a sodie (i have to skip my lexapro if i want to drink, and i didn't, so i just put toasted marshmallow syrup in the soda to make it a treat) and talking to my hubby on the phone.
and the doggies were hanging out with me. does it get any doggie better than this?
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
day six in colorado
this is the longest i've been away from my husband since early 2000.
here are some things you should know before visiting the denver area (or, in my case, between denver and colorado springs):
1. the radio SUCKS. i guess that's true anywhere, but it seems particularly so here. make yourself a mix tape or a cd if you're rich enough to have a burner and a car with a cd player.
2. people are friendly here, BUT they seem wary of new yorkers. i don't really consider myself a newyorker (i've only lived there for 4 years out of 27), but i am a teacher, so i say the occasionally "oo-aw" instead of "ah." one time, i was talking to this nice lady, petting her dog, and i said "whaddayagon' do" and she fairly abruptly cut off the conversation. she also told me to bite her. that last sentence was a lie.
3. everyone has a dog or two. boy was that a relief to me...when my parents moved out here, they were trying to get rid of the more jackassy of the two dogs. i begged them to keep her. sure enough, they fit right in with their neighbors and all the cool kids because they had two charming terriers.
4. bring a towel. not to rip off douglas adams or anything, but i sleep with at least one towel, sometimes two. if you want to know why, i'll e-mail you. i wish i had brought one of my sleepin' towels from home.
5. you're a pansy if you can't make it in the peppermint room at the celestial seasonings factory.
6. see's chocolate, coldstone ice cream, and sonic milkshakes are the culinary highlights of colorado.
i've just saved you the $14.95 you would have spent for a guidebook. you're welcome.
i got my hard-cover, signed blankets in the mail today. oh hooray!!! and seanie sent me delightful pictures of all the "comicon cuties." nerds are so hot.
Saturday, July 19, 2003
my husband went to san diego, and i got was this--HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
i am in colorado, dog-sitting for my parents while they go to st. thomas. that's right--i travelled over 1000 miles to dogsit. but you'd understand if you had met bobo and salma. 'cause you know i'd walga thousand miles if i could just saaay you tonight. my husband is in san diego at comicon.
this is how it goes every year: every year, it gets to be about time to make plans for it. i say "so hey, should i go?" or nothing at all, and he says "i don't think you'd have a very good time." and he disses me to take josiah, and i take my fun self elsewhere. every year, he returns from comicon, vowing to take me the following year, saying how much he missed me, and how fun it would be to do this or that with me.
do i read comics? no. there are a few that i am obsessed with (see all my posts detailing my obsession with craig thompson), but i wouldn't consider myself a comics nerd. however, i'd like to point out three things:
(1) my brother, who i almost NEVER see, lives within a couple hours from the place.
(2) our apartment has a shower, not a bathtub. hotels have bathtubs. as a matter of fact, the room that my husband got has a HOT TUB.
(3) there is a loehmanns in san diego.
in other words, i'm set. this is the first year i actually wanted to go, because craig thompson was going to be there. so i sent sean with melinda (our stuffed wombat), a 12-page letter to craig, and instructions to get me his autograph. he got not only an autograph but a sketch inside my copy of blankets, so hooray. but not as "hooray" as meeting craig face to face.
not that i would be able to handle meeting him face to face. i completely freaked out about phoebe. it's too much. i can't handle it.
anyway: you know what they DON'T have a comicon? bobo and salma.
Friday, July 11, 2003
how could i forget this...
read this after the post below.
after lunch, we went back to the doggie gym and this time the girl was there. we went in and talked to her and giggled about the boys. my boyfriend kept running up to the window, jumping at it, and then running away. i guess he's just shy, then. k's kept lining himself up with her. we found out that his name was actually hubert, and that's delightful. i got a free magazine with a picture of a bulldog on the cover for sean. then the girl brought out her boyfriend....the beagle puppy, named arthur. we kissed him and snuggled him and oh it was a delight.
"MY SUMMER," by THE FERG
here's what we did yesterday.
i got up with sean, and went into the city with him. i had to pee so bad by the time we got there...so bad i could taste it, and i got in just before they closed the bathrooms for cleaning--ho! then i went up to k's to cause trouble. first we got coffee and then we walked up to the doggie gym. we spent about a half hour outside looking at the dogs frolicking. there was a beaglepuppy in the window that was good enough to eat. we picked out our boyfriends. mine was a wheaton terrier that i named pawlonius. he was a charmer, but not the most faithful. k's on the other hand...a black bassett hound who we named rosco. this dog just sat himself right in front of her and looked at her, the whole time. she had mad love for him. and then i had to call my husband because the girl who i think was his first girlfriend (and later went out with his best friend which is fun) worked there and i wanted to make sure. she wasn't there, though. then we went to the newstand to look up a naked picture of this guy's ex-girlfriend, but the issue of that magazine had past, but the guy suggested we try the library. we did, but they didn't have jane.
then we went to the health food store where i picked up "STOP: irritable bowel syndrome is a serious health concern" and "STOP: parasites are a serious health concern," as well as this soy smoothie-maker-stuff. those pamphlets, unfortunately, weren't NEARLY as funny as the one about constipation (see my mother's day post).
then we hung out at her place and here's where it gets creepy. this girl buzzed up saying she had to talk to k because she knew her sister (keep in mind almost no one knows where k lives...not even the guy she's dating). i was in the bedroom playing around on the internet, so i missed some of this, but i peeked my head in to check this girl out. she seemed really nervous..shaky...at first she said it was about her sister, then she changed her story numerous times. she went to school with this julia girl (nyu film) and the girl lived up the street from k, and then the building next door...and then k asked her where her sister was from and she said "somewhere in the midwest." ? and then tori came up...and then the girl got k's number and left quickly, almost without giving her name. k only got her first name.
so it was like the girl was there to just check out k. oh yeah--she pronounced k's name wrong, as if she had just read it...is it a psycho girlfriend checking out ex's? or is it a psycho tori fan? you decide.
we're totally freaked out. and later, k's neighbor called to say that the girl had been standing outside, pacing, for about 10 minutes, talking on her cell phone, and obviously waiting for someone to come out so she could get in. she tried to shove her way past k's neighbor to get in, and then she had to ask the neighbor which apartment was k's. the neighbor was freaked out by it.
and then we went to lunch at a raw food place. i got hummus, cucumber salad, and uncooked (dehydrated?) falafel. it was pretty good, actually. k said it would make me go, but it didn't. dang. and then we went back to her place and watched legally blond which was VERY. VERY. SILLY. i had trouble watching it--i couldn't just forget the fine legal education i acquired through hours and hours of law and order.
then we met up with sean and ken and went to dinner. we got a yummy cheese and fruit platter, and i got a salad with spinach, oranges, pine nuts, feta, and a citrus vinigrette. sean got one of his mysterious tummy aches and just had to go outside (he gets these after pizza that's not dominos, and every other time it's happened it's been after eating something that's not the crap he usually eats....but not after disgusting mcdonald's). then we were tired so we took a car home.
we're all still freaked out. i'm freaked out. but i get freaked out. what do you think?
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
MY HUSBAND IS MAKING ME POST THIS
i walk by, and he hits me on the bee-hind.
"your butt is warm."
"it's 'cause i been sittin' on it all day."
GOOD NIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
?
i had black tea this morning, instead of green. i was just in the mood for something different.
here's something i heard yesterday while i was hard at work on a puzzle:
"do you have what it takes to be successful in today's economy? a flair for fashion..."
so THAT'S why all my furniture is hand-me-down. because i don't wear those stupid elf-looking heels with jeans. well, the fashion industry can bite my poor behind. i know that this topic is safe and hackneyed, but i REALLY DO HATE the fashionazis. "last season?" what the heck kinda concept is that? does anyone actually throw out their clothes every 6 months? the only thing worse than the magazines, the designers, etc., are the people who listen to them, who buy them. i tell you, my "dorks are hot" t-shirt will always been in style, just as dorks will always be dear to me.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? EW!
i don't think i ever posted about this. this is a good one....
sean and i got new cell phones, with this family plan in which we share minutes. i took the box with all the phone stuff into school the next day so i could set up my voice mail and all that stuff. the box was right next to my computer. i'm typing something, and my eye catches something hanging out of the box. it's a long, spiky leg. it moves, and i whimper. "hey barbara, are you afraid of bugs?"
"no"
"c'mere."
"ew. looks like some kind of cricket. do you want me to smush it?"
"no--then i'll have cricket guts--hey matt check this out."
"looks like a coo-ca-ro-cha."
matt takes it outside and drops it out onto the pavement. it's the biggest bug i've ever seen, between 2 and 3 inches (just body). holy scrod. and there's poopies all inside the box. i wiped down all the stuff with wipies, and threw out the poopiebox. but my husband was completely freaked. i'm telling this funny story, and he's stunned into silence. he made me take it back and exchange it for another phone. i'm glad it happened to me (not in general...as opposed to him). the funny thing is, the guy at the phone store didn't act surprised at all. hmmm...
IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE WITH A.D.D.
me, shaking puzzle box and walking towards the den "this'll be my puzzle for today"
him "thank you baby"
me "thank you?"
him "oh i'm sorry. very good."
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
THE AFTERMATH
there is an ice rink at the bottom of my freezer...coffee flavored fro-yo from the top of the freezer...it's everywhere. my fridge REEKS. it smells like dairy. STINKY STINKY STINKY! when i lived with charlotte, i SWORE that i would always throw away things that are past their date, and that my fridge would never get that fridge smell. well, it has that fridge smell, and i'm procrastinating by trying to decide between the nice orange stuff, or going out to get baking soda to make a baking soda solution. what do you think? e-mail me. i love e-mail.
YOU HAVE TO SEE MY HUSBAND'S BACK OH MY GOODNESS. i'll send you pictures. we visited his grandparents saturday, and i guess he's allergic to something on the lounge chairs at the pool, because now he has HUGE RED STRIPES on his back, and i'm putting benadryl cream on them but you wouldn't believe it so i took pictures.
Monday, July 07, 2003
INSERT HOT SEXY SONG LYRICS
not because i'm hot and sexy (although i am, thank you very much), but because the electricity was out ALL DAY and it's 94 degrees out. my strawberry shortcake skinny cow sammidges are languishing!
i went to my appointment in brooklyn, and then spent most of the rest of the afternoon trying to take a decent digital picture of myself. the only pictures i liked showed either 70% or 130% of what should be shown. like, it would be from the waist to just above my mouth, or it would be my face and all and show my skinny legs at a weird angle. my legs look like those of a 10-year old girl who frequently falls off her skateboard. i was never a tomboy though (i was never pretty enough to play princess leia when we played star wars--EVEN THOUGH I HAD A GOLD BIKINI--but not coordinated and awesome enough to really master the skateboard)--just clumsy.
i took a candlelight shower...wooo...it was lukewarm because the hot water heater was out with the rest of the appliances. ahhhhhhhhhh. alright, i'm going to go write some more and then GO DO IT!!!!
aren't you dying to know what "it" is?
Saturday, July 05, 2003
THIS IS THE HARDEST POST I'VE EVER HAD TO WRITE
dear 1-800-DENTIST lady,
this is the hardest letter i've ever had to write. i think it's time we cool things off for a while. it's not you--it's me. for some reason, your commercials are making me feel like i don't meet your needs. i feel guilty when you remind me how easy it is to make a dentist appointment. i guess i'm just immature, and not ready for the kind of love you have to offer me. please don't blame yourself. if i were a better person, i wouldn't be writing this. you deserve better than me, and i know that someday you're going to find it. good luck to you in everything you do.
love,
amanda
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE OBSESSED
gee, where has the time gone? it's been a month? good grief. my apologies to all 3 people who read this.
well, i have a new obsession. last weekend, i went to the mocca thing in the city. i was there on a mission to do three things:
(1) hang out with my friend, dave (aka "davey oil" in comicsland)
(2) get a signed copy of "the last lonely saturday" by jordan crane.
(3) meet phoebe gloeckner. get her to sign something for my best friend. stalk. rinse. repeat.
well...
(1) i sure did see davey. and he was selling a comics collection made by his 3rd- to 5th-grade students, but it was free to teachers!
(2) jordan crane was not there. wanh.
(3) phoebe CAME RIGHT UP TO ME to compliment me on my tank top (which was a drawing of --er, i mean, DONE BY her). (if you don't get that, read "diary of a teenage girl". actually, read it anyway).
i was just generally feeling overwhelmed at this place. it was crowded with people who are much hipper than me, and i was feeling highly inadequate. (side note: this is a very indie-comics-type event. i wouldn't be saying that the average guy hanging out in jim hanley's universe was hipper than me...unless by "hipper" i mean "dorkier, and not in a good way--in a creepy way.")
so seanie was waiting in line to get this much-anticipated book, and i was studying the author as he signed them. i like to stare at people. my opinion of him changed from second to second:
whatever. he's not THAT hot.
he looks sad.
he looks uncomfortable.
he needs a snuggle from my stuffed wombat, melinda.
anyway, last wednesday (last day of school -- HO! HOLLA!) i saw the book on the kitchen table, liked the cover, and idly started to flip through. i flipped right to a page of a guy lying on the floor, drawing, with the words "Thus, I found my muse" above him.
that was pretty much all i needed. i finished the 600-pager that day. and now i'm writin' 'im. actually, at this point, the planning THE BIG LETTER has become more and more of the obsession, to the point where i wonder if i'll actually send it. i had sean write "his people" to get his address. (it wasn't dishonest -- he does, in fact, want to interview him). yay for connections. anyway, i bought new pens and everything. it's going to be fancy.
and i read part of blankets every day. another case of me JUST MISSING the chance to meet an awesome person.
but i did meet phoebe. i was completely freaked.
i have to get back to my dogs. i'm in colorado with my folks. oh hey. salma yakked twice yesterday and i totally cleaned it up, no problem. 'cause she's my baby. bobo is sick today, and i'm nursing him back to health. with his distinguised white fur. what a handsome young gentleman.
