Tuesday, September 21, 2004
today is the one-year anniversary of the day we adopted lucy
6:50 pm...and i call my husband while he's on his way home to see if he'll eat spaghetti squash for dinner
ring...ring...ring
husband: hello?
me: hi! are you on the hands-free?
husband: no...you still have it.
me: THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THE PHONE?!?!??!!!!!!! IT'S ILLEGAL!!!!
debating whether that "run away, run away" techno song is good for that commercial
husband: they could have found a much better song.
me: i like it fine. it's nice and gay.
husband: it's not gay enough. actually, nothing is ever gay enough. except "a chorus line." that's too gay.
ahhhh...
happy anniversary, lucy. remember climbing on the tv cabinet when you first came home--before you hid under the bed? you were such a timid little lady! now you're a big bad tough guy!!!
Monday, September 13, 2004
they ho up so fast...
today, i received a catalog from buycostumes.com, the company from which i purchased my flimsy tinkerbell costume last year so that i could keep with the "music department does peter pan" theme.
they have a teen section in this catalog. i thought that was good, because adult costumes are always too big on me. but then i saw what they thought were appropriate for teens:
COSTUME #1: SALEM WITCH TEEN
this is definitely made of fabrics that the puritans did not use. historical inaccuracy notwithstanding, though, there's something about this costume that's just not right: teen. TEEN. it should have been called "slutty jailbait teen witch."
COSTUME #2: DEMONICA THE CLUB DEVIL TEEN
"ooh mommy, that's the costume i want! i want to be demonica the club devil teen!!!"
"okay, susie. gee, that furry tube top is certainly going to accentuate your newly-budded breasts!"
"do you think that my stomach will look like britney's in this if i eat no more than 300 calories a day between now and halloween?"
"of course, sweetie.
and hey, the red color will help you feel secure in case you have your period on halloween day! no embarassing mishaps--oh wait. you won't get your period anymore."
"i'm going to get bobby to go as my partner, pyro the club devil."
"ooh! i didn't know demonica had her own pimp! perfect, sweetie!"
COSTUME #3: HOTTIE TOTTIES HANDY CANDY PRE-TEEN
PRE-TEEN
.the description says "Red and white outfit features a dress, petticoat, apron, hat and stethoscope. Shoes not included. Child size 11-14.
Monday, June 28, 2004
a mystery in pictures
when i got home from my doctor's appointment this morning, this was the scene.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
"fur" elise, indeed
Thursday, February 05, 2004
the new way
kitty finally caught on and experienced the joy of sleeping in a box. all she ever did with the thick, cardboard amazon box was chew on it. i guess that all she needed was the right box. all that wasted time, all those hours we could have spent watching a kitty mush into the box. what fools we were!
i was thinking about valentine's day, and i do think it's a bunch of crap. the hubster and i are very romantic...not in an "expensive dinner with fine wine, then a horse-carriage ride through central park" kind of way. i guess that kind of stuff is a treat, but part of me feels like a certain amount of "fake" goes with that territory. our kind of romance is more of a snuggling and saying i love you a lot and being all mushy way. what it lacks in glamour and indulgence it makes up for in annoying other people.
of course, what other people are we talking about? have YOU ever been to our place? we don't really hang out with anyone else.
anyway, i do think valentine's day is crap. here's the real scoop:
For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans had practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.
In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box, and the game was to emulate the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.
Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in AD 270 had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.
Claudius had determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine would secretly marry young men that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.
During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.
Although the lottery for women had been banned by the church, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was still used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for the men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.
so. i don't know. last valentines day, we were on a plane to visit my folks. the one before, he gave an interview or something. the one before that, he ditched me to hang out with clive barker.
but i'm doing things right this february 14. i'm spending it not one, but TWO sweet valentines.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
a poem
mushy kitty cat
mushy kitty cat
how did you get so mushy?
your fur feels like a bunny
and you are my honey
sweet sweet lucy pie.
the sink is your best friend
you tell him all your deepest mushy secrets
and you like to eat ensure
(sweet mushy cats need their energy)
HEY, HOW DID THE SALT SHAKER GET ON THE FLOOR?!?!
guess it was sweet mushy cat.
as soon as the lights go out
mushy cat jumps on the bed
and snuggles up to mommy
mushy in the morning
mushy at night,
she's a little pudding pop.
at 3:24 a.m., i wake up to pee
and she reows at me
as i close the bathroom door
mushyhead looks oh-so-confused
it makes me smile while i tinkle.
mushy with 3 hours till wake-up,
lucy's a munchkinland.
when i get home,
i look under the front door before i open it
to see mushyhead's little four-paws
and then she tells me about her day
but she doesn't let me pet her
(crazy lady)
because she's a shy schmoo,
little lucy pumpkin pie.
the kitty was made for mushin'
her face was made for smushin'
sweet sweet lucy pie.
sugar and ginger and chocolate,
mushy lucy pie.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
sunday, sunday
actually, this was last sunday, but i happen to like this picture.
we went swimming yesterday. SWIMMING. in january! we joined bally's. good times.
we have yet to even flip past the superbowl, so HA HA. we're watching law & order (svu) on dvd. good times.
is that it? oh no here we go. i have this kid in chorus. he's a real pain the butt. nice kid, but he's naughty. he spends most of rehearsal turned around, not singing. i called his parents about it--honors student parents--but they defended him ("well, who is he talking to? is that kid getting in trouble?"). so i'm trying to handle it myself. i talked to him calmly and casually etc. etc...anyway, in his lesson friday, he started talking about ______. he said he hated her. i said "why? i love ________!" and his friends said that they were going out. this is how he talks about his girlfriend? MAJOR ISSUES WITH WOMEN? he asked me where she sat so he could stomp on her seat and get it dirty. nice.
oh, by the way, i recently found out that this sweet girl is bulimic. her friend told me, and when i went to talk to the psychologist about it, they confirmed it. she's getting treatment, but still. this girl is only 13 years old. she struggles in every class but mine.
i had her in chorus later that day. i pulled her aside and said "are you going out with [the aforementioned young gentleman]?" she said yes. i said "i think you should dump him asap." she said she was thinking about it, and her friends think she should. she said why? not wanting to hurt her with his ridiculous behavior, i just said "i just think you can do a lot better."
